This summer has brought insanely warm temperatures, a ridiculous amount of rain, and cucumber plants that simply will not stop producing. My zucchini, on the other hand, were doing fine before they were taken out by either squash vine borers or squash bugs…or both. “Squash bugs…” I feel there should be a more original name for the insect known formally as anasa tristis. I mean, come on, “squash bug…”? Really? Feels a bit taxonomically lazy. But back to my cukes.

This month is not the first—nor will it be the last—time I write about my favorite kitchen container, the mason jar. So get yours ready. Some folks want shelf-stable pickles that can stay in your pantry for at least a year. That requires water-bath canning. (“Canning” in jars still sounds odd to me. Why not “jarring” in jars? Why don’t we ever can in actual cans?) However, here’s an easier and quicker method to keep that sour, crunchy goodness.

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What You Need

Mason jars (what else?)
Water
Cucumbers
Salt
Yes, that’s it.

There are some other ingredients you can add, but this is really all you need to get pickling. Actually, you’re fermenting, not pickling. But you are making pickles. Try not to overthink it.

What To Do

Wash the cucumbers and cut off the blossom end. (I cut off both ends.) You can slice them if you’d like. I have to because most of my cucumbers rival the size of a Miata. You can slice them into discs or just quarter them lengthwise as in the picture above.
Stuff them into a jar and leave about 1 to 1 1/2 inches of space at the top. Shove those suckers in there as tightly as possible. You can add garlic, peppercorns, dill, mustard seeds, lots more garlic if you’re me... Some bay leaves will help keep the pickles crisp. (Chemistry. Don’t ask.)
Prepare your brine of water and salt. Your water should be filtered or, even better, distilled. Your salt can be sea salt, Pink Himalayan salt, Kosher salt… but NO iodized salt. I’m not going to get into the “why” here, just don’t.
Brine concocting involves some math. (I know, I know.) Okay, I’ll do it for you. A roughly three-percent brine is made by adding 30 grams of salt to 1000g of water. If you do grams, not cups, get a digital scale. You’ll thank me for it later when I tell you how to make sourdough English muffins.
A roughly four-percent brine would be 40 grams of salt in 1000 grams of water. Any guesses what a five-percent brine would be? You got it. Many recipes instruct you to account for the weight of the vegetables when calculating how much salt to use, because vegetables are mostly water. (So adding a three-percent brine to a jar with cucumbers will result in a weaker brine because the cuke water dilutes the brine.)
The strength of brine can vary, but I like around 4 to 5 percent. Keep in mind: Not enough salt, and you let the bad bacteria thrive along with the good bacteria. Too much salt, and you kill off the good bacteria along with the bad bacteria. I know that sounds judgy. What did the bacteria ever do to you? Nothing, if you ferment correctly. After all this yakety-yak, how about you add 3 tablespoons salt to four cups water. Le Cordon Bleu says this is okay, so who am I to argue. Moi? Jamais! Sacre (cordon) bleu!
Pour the brine over the top of the pickles. You want the vegetables to be completely submerged. (If they encounter air, they will mold. Most of us dislike moldy pickles.) To do this, you can use weights specially designed for mason jars or simply stick a rock in a clean Ziploc bag and put it on top of the pickles.
Cover the jar. Gases will form as part of the fermenting process. (Hence the 1 to 1 1/2 inches of headspace you left in the jar, right?) There are special fermenting lids that allow for gases to flow out and nothing icky to creep in. They are not expensive but nor are they necessary. I do use them and I like the tops and weights over at Mason Tops. (See photo below.) If you decide not to use those handy-not-fancy lids, simply seal the jar and keep out of direct sunlight.
Open the lid once a day to allow gases to escape. Or put a the lid on loosely and place the jar in a bowl in case things get super active and bubble over a bit (because you didn’t leave enough headspace in the jar even though I told you you were supposed to).
The liquid will get cloudy. This is good. You will likely see little bubbles after a day or so. This is also good. After about five days, give your pickles a taste. If you like the flavor and the crunch, you’re done. Put a regular lid on them—or transfer them to another container—and stick them in your refrigerator.

These easy-peasy pickles will keep in your fridge at least six months and give your gut all kinds of probiotic goodness. However, they are not—wait for it—refrigerator pickles. That moniker is about as original as “squash bugs,” and that recipe will have to wait for now.

I love these fermenting weights and lids available from Mason Tops.