thoughts • images
A PIT STOP
fascinations • nuisances
Fantastic Fermentables
This summer has brought insanely warm temperatures, a ridiculous amount of rain, and cucumber plants that simply will not stop producing. My zucchini, on the other hand, were doing fine before they were taken out by either squash vine borers or squash bugs…or both. “Squash bugs…” I feel there should be a more original name for the insect known formally as anasa tristis. I mean, come on, “squash bug…”? Really? Feels a bit taxonomically lazy. But back to my cukes.
This month is not the first—nor will it be the last—time I write about my favorite kitchen container, the mason jar. So get yours ready. Some folks want shelf-stable pickles that can stay in your pantry for at least a year. That requires water-bath canning. (“Canning” in jars still sounds odd to me. Why not “jarring” in jars? Why don’t we ever can in actual cans?) However, here’s an easier and quicker method to keep that sour, crunchy goodness.
(NB: This article contains affiliate links. If you click on one of these links and purchase anything, I may receive a small commission at no additional cost to you.)
What You Need
Mason jars (what else?)
Water
Cucumbers
Salt
Yes, that’s it.
There are some other ingredients you can add, but this is really all you need to get pickling. Actually, you’re fermenting, not pickling. But you are making pickles. Try not to overthink it.
What To Do
Wash the cucumbers and cut off the blossom end. (I cut off both ends.) You can slice them if you’d like. I have to because most of my cucumbers rival the size of a Miata. You can slice them into discs or just quarter them lengthwise as in the picture above.
Stuff them into a jar and leave about 1 to 1 1/2 inches of space at the top. Shove those suckers in there as tightly as possible. You can add garlic, peppercorns, dill, mustard seeds, lots more garlic if you’re me... Some bay leaves will help keep the pickles crisp. (Chemistry. Don’t ask.)
Prepare your brine of water and salt. Your water should be filtered or, even better, distilled. Your salt can be sea salt, Pink Himalayan salt, Kosher salt… but NO iodized salt. I’m not going to get into the “why” here, just don’t.
Brine concocting involves some math. (I know, I know.) Okay, I’ll do it for you. A roughly three-percent brine is made by adding 30 grams of salt to 1000g of water. If you do grams, not cups, get a digital scale. You’ll thank me for it later when I tell you how to make sourdough English muffins.
A roughly four-percent brine would be 40 grams of salt in 1000 grams of water. Any guesses what a five-percent brine would be? You got it. Many recipes instruct you to account for the weight of the vegetables when calculating how much salt to use, because vegetables are mostly water. (So adding a three-percent brine to a jar with cucumbers will result in a weaker brine because the cuke water dilutes the brine.)
The strength of brine can vary, but I like around 4 to 5 percent. Keep in mind: Not enough salt, and you let the bad bacteria thrive along with the good bacteria. Too much salt, and you kill off the good bacteria along with the bad bacteria. I know that sounds judgy. What did the bacteria ever do to you? Nothing, if you ferment correctly. After all this yakety-yak, how about you add 3 tablespoons salt to four cups water. Le Cordon Bleu says this is okay, so who am I to argue. Moi? Jamais! Sacre (cordon) bleu!
Pour the brine over the top of the pickles. You want the vegetables to be completely submerged. (If they encounter air, they will mold. Most of us dislike moldy pickles.) To do this, you can use weights specially designed for mason jars or simply stick a rock in a clean Ziploc bag and put it on top of the pickles.
Cover the jar. Gases will form as part of the fermenting process. (Hence the 1 to 1 1/2 inches of headspace you left in the jar, right?) There are special fermenting lids that allow for gases to flow out and nothing icky to creep in. They are not expensive but nor are they necessary. I do use them and I like the tops and weights over at Mason Tops. (See photo below.) If you decide not to use those handy-not-fancy lids, simply seal the jar and keep out of direct sunlight.
Open the lid once a day to allow gases to escape. Or put a the lid on loosely and place the jar in a bowl in case things get super active and bubble over a bit (because you didn’t leave enough headspace in the jar even though I told you you were supposed to).
The liquid will get cloudy. This is good. You will likely see little bubbles after a day or so. This is also good. After about five days, give your pickles a taste. If you like the flavor and the crunch, you’re done. Put a regular lid on them—or transfer them to another container—and stick them in your refrigerator.
These easy-peasy pickles will keep in your fridge at least six months and give your gut all kinds of probiotic goodness. However, they are not—wait for it—refrigerator pickles. That moniker is about as original as “squash bugs,” and that recipe will have to wait for now.
I love these fermenting weights and lids available from Mason Tops.
I Beg Your Parsley
I am fortunate enough to be able to grow a lot of the herbs I use to cook and eat. But you know, sometimes I can’t. Or I just don’t feel like it. And off I go to buy fresh herbs from my local farmer’s market or from the French Broad Food Co-op. (Click here to learn more about food co-ops and find one near you.)
So I get a big, beautiful bunch of parsley/cilantro/dill/etc., and it’s almost always more than I need, unless I’m making a vat of salsa or keg’s worth of tabbouleh. (Note to self: Share my tabbouleh recipe in the next newsletter.)
Yes, yes, yes…I know I can blanch the herbs, stick ‘em in a little oil, and freeze the results in an ice cube tray so I have cute little blocks of seasoning ready for future use, blahblahblah.
But what I really want is for my herbs to stay perky longer so I can use them fresh, not frozen, and not all at once. I used to trim the ends off the herbs and stick them in a bit of fresh water, but within a day or three, herbs that had just been yanked out of the ground in my backyard or within a 20-mile radius of my kitchen started looking droopy and sad.
But there is a solution. And what’s even better is that it’s an easy one. Here we go:
INGREDIENTS:
Herbs
Jar/vase/glass/vessel of your choice
Water
Plastic bag
DIRECTIONS:
Grab the herbs, and remove any rubberband-twistie-tie-string-restrictive-type thingy from the bunch. Let them spread their stems and relax.
Trim a little off the ends of the stems.
Take your chosen container. I use an old mason jar, but I live in Southern Appalachia so I am legally obligated to use an old mason jar for everything from drinking coffee to storing half-dead AA batteries.
Fill said container with water—not too hot, not too icy-cold. Get all Goldilocks about it.
Stick your herbs in the water. (Stems first. You knew that, right?) Try to keep any leaves out of the water. Think of it like arranging flowers. You don’t want the petals to be submerged.
Take your plastic bag. This is a good use for an old Ziploc bag, especially if you hoard those sorts of things because you can’t see a reason for throwing them away after you’ve only used them once and you can never get the smell out of them even when you wash them in the dishwasher (which feels like a stupid use of water anyway) and after all you kind of wish you hadn’t bought the Ziploc bags in the first place because you feel as though by this point in your life you should be able to think of something to contain your snacks or leftovers or granola or sandwiches in besides a pre-packaged, re-sealable plastic bag.
I use an old Ziploc bag, but hey: You do you.
Gently and loosely place the bag over the top of the herbs and leave it open. You want to let the herbs breathe a little. Imagine you were putting a plastic bag over your own head. You would want some breathing room, right? (Please don’t do that.)
Place the jarred and bagged herb in your refrigerator. Like so:
Seriously. I have had cilantro, parsley, and dill last more than two weeks in the fridge like this. And don’t even get me started on how chubby and turgid* my scallions are.
You’re welcome.
* Turgid,in biology, refers to a cell that it bursting at its organic seams with water. It is the opposite of flaccid. It can also mean, according to our friends over at the always exacting OED: “figurative in reference to language: Inflated, grandiloquent, pompous, bombastic.” So, was my use of “turgid” to describe my scallions an example of “turgid prose”? Discuss.
Happy Pi Day
Happy Pi Day!
The first numerical calculation of Pi is attributed to Archimedes of Syracuse, crunching numbers during the third century B.C.E. But that was just the beginning, and a lot of folks have contributed to the interpretation of Pi along the way.
In 1706, British mathematician William Jones laid the Pi symbol and name on us. “Pi” is the Greek letter which corresponds to the English "p" (as in perimeter, periphery...you get it).
Today is also Einstein's birthday. Pi is employed in his Gravitational Constant.
And as he was born on 3.14 it would appear Einstein was a Pi-sces.
Rim-shot, ba-DUMP-bump!
Shop Asheville
A Different Kind of Shopping List…
Many of you have written asking what you can do to help out the communities in Western North Carolina. Since the holidays are approaching, I have begun compiling a list of businesses that you can patronize online. You can get fabulous gifts, and you will be giving an important gift to individuals and independent enterprises working to get back on their financial feet.
This is just a start. I intend to add to this list. Please do share this list far and wide and near and far and…you get the picture.
The list so far
The headquarters of Asheville Tea Company near Biltmore Village, where sisters Melissa and Jessie Dean package, store, and make their magical blends, floated a mile down the Swannanoa River and split in half on a utility pole. You can pre-order their “Holiday Trio” (I live on “Snow Day” in the winter) which they hope to get shipped out in December. Gift Cards are also available.
Brooke Bergdahl and CoreSelf Pilates are online. I have had the pleasure (and pain) of taking pilates with Brooke, and the delight of knowing her as a person. Her gorgeous studio was destroyed. As she works to rebuild and find a new space, she is still offering virtual classes and 1-on-1 sessions. Oh—did I mention she’s a badass? She also works with professional dancers and athletes, like Olympians and WNBA stars Sue Bird and Breanna Stewart.
The damage to the River Arts District (RAD) has impacted countless artists who make Asheville the wonderful, unique place that it is. Artists like my friend Barbara Fisher—whose work I am privileged to have in my home—have lost their art, studio space, supplies, and more. Many are trying to sell any inventory they have left online or via other galleries or showrooms. A few ways to help artists in particular:
Mora, one of my favorite jewelry stores, is spotlighting local Asheville artists and connecting people to their beautiful creations.
The Southern Highland Craft Guild, whose membership was severely affected by the storm, is hosting an online craft fair until the end of November to directly support artists.
Treats Studios has compiled an extensive list of artists who are taking online orders or are in dire need of donations. Shop for their creations.
Though East Fork pottery itself suffered tremendous loss, the well known and highly sought-after retailer is highlighting artists and local relief organizations in the area while they themselves are in the process of rebuilding. East Fork is donating 5% of their proceeds to support relief efforts.
Hi-Wire Brewing’s RAD location, which housed their headquarters, distribution center, and beer garden, was completely submerged, resulting in the loss of 100% of their packaging inventory and 80% of their finished beer. You can buy their “Beer is Stronger Than Water” T-shirts to directly support the brewery’s recovery, visit one of their other locations, or buy a gift card.
Those of you who know me are quite familiar with my love of soccer in general (and AS Roma, in particular). Asheville’s youth soccer scene has been horrifically impacted by flood damage, which buried its primary field complex in mud and left scores of kids with no idea where—or when—they’ll be able to play again. Asheville Armoury and Just Play WNC have teamed up to raise money to get kids back on the pitch. If you happen to be a fan of the Gunners—or know someone who is—you can opt to get some merch for your donation as well, and all the profits go to rebuilding our youth soccer community. Find out more here.
Many people are familiar with the farm-to-table movement. The vital importance of the “farm” part of that equation cannot be overstated, and local growers are a key element of Asheville’s much lauded restaurant scene. Knowing the people who grow our food is one of the many reasons we love living here. We have bought produce from Green Toe Ground Farm for close to 20 years now, and our friends Nicole and Gaelan have lost nearly all of their biodynamic farm. Gaelen and Nicole are not alone. (The Guardian has an insightful piece on not only the effects of the flooding itself on farms in the area, but the added challenge of rehabilitating the toxic mud that it left behind.) Learn more and donate here.
Businesses not directly affected by flooding or wind were shuttered due to loss of power and water, and are still in financial straits due to the lack of tourist foot traffic during what is normally our busiest season. One of those businesses is our beloved Malaprop’s. If you would like to order personalized, signed copies of my books for the holidays, you can learn more about getting them from Malaprop’s here. But if you intend to shop for ANY books online this holiday, please consider giving your business to Malaprop’s. Also, do check out Binc, the Book Industry Charitable Foundation, which has been helping booksellers in need for more than 25 years.
And if you would like to make a financial donation to the regions’s relief efforts, please contact BeLoved Asheville and MANNA Food Bank.
How to Order Autographed, Personalized Books for the Holiday
It’s that time of year again…
This has been a very trying fall for those of us in the southeast who were in Hurricane Helene’s path—as we were here in Asheville,—and getting in the holiday groove has proved a bit difficult. But finding time for gratitude and friends is certainly helping me recover from the past two months. Though I’m still scrambling a bit to stay on top of all things work- and holiday-related, it is still possible to get personalized books shipped wherever you want, wrapped up and ready to go.
I am, as always, working with my beloved independent bookstore in Asheville, NC, Malaprop’s, to offer personalized, autographed copies of my books. Malaprop’s is one of many businesses that has suffered in the aftermath of Helene, and I am encouraging everyone—even more than usual—to order their books from Malaprop’s or any of the other independent bookstores that are struggling to get back on their financial feet. Signed, personalized books make great gifts and autographing eReaders simply hasn’t taken off yet.
If you want an autographed book you can call Malaprop’s directly at 1-800-441-9829 or 828-254-6734. The store is chock full of helpful, cheerful folks. Once one of these charmers answers the phone, just tell them which book(s) you want to order, the author’s name—that's me—and how you would like the inscription to read.
FOR TIMELY DELIVERY: ORDER SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.
What about those inscriptions?
How do you want the book personalized? To you? To the in-law you’re always trying to suck up to? Do you want it to say “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Holidays,” “For a history buff,” or nothing at all so that you may re-gift at will? Will I inscribe anything that you desire? Oh no, my dears, I absolutely will not. Outright offensive or just weirdly personal inscription requests will be completely ignored. So there. Once you’ve decided on your (sane, courteous) inscription request, Malaprop’s can handle it. Simply give them your payment information and shipping address.
What about gift wrapping?
Yes indeed, they gift wrap! I told you they were wonderful. So, you can have that autographed book gift-wrapped AND have a gift card slapped on it. That package of holiday reading cheer will be shipped wherever you want and will arrive ready to be shoved under a tree, stuck in a (larger than usual) stocking, placed next to the menorah, or donated to your local library.
My books are available wherever books are sold, and if you would like to patronize an independent bookstore closer to your neck of the woods while shopping from the convenience of your own home, pay a visit to bookshop.org. Links to all vendors can be found on my “Buy” page.
Happy Happy Merry Merry Joy Joy!
Roast 'Em If Ya Got 'Em
One of the culinary world’s most delectable, go-to sides is roasted potatoes. A little bit of crunch on the outside, a little bit of creamy, starchy goodness on the inside, and nice sop-a-bility for any tasty juices milling around on your plate.
Ready? Set? Mmmmm…..
Ingredients:
Potatoes. Surprise!
Which kind, you ask? I like using Yukon Golds. They roast up a little browner than Russets —which I like for baking potatoes whole—and I think taste a tad sweeter. I almost never use white potatoes, though you certainly can. How about sweet potatoes? Yes, you can roast those, too. Also very delicious. However, sweet potatoes usually require a shorter cooking time and have a tendency to soak up more oil. So the following instructions are best for those Yukons.
Olive oil. No, not canola oil, coconut oil, palm oil, vegetable oil, avocado oil, sesame oil, 10W-30 motor oil or anything else. Olive oil. Period.
Two or three fresh rosemary sprigs.
Salt and pepper. Lots of it.
What to do:
Position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat the oven to 450°.
While the oven is heating up, cut your potatoes into nice, chunky pieces. DO NOT PEEL YOUR POTATOES. How big should the chunks be? The picture above is a good example of the size I like.
Take those potato chunks and put them in a large bowl. Cover them with salt. Lots. Don’t be shy. Pour on some olive oil. Again, don’t be stingy.
Grab the rosemary sprigs. About rosemary: It is a wonderful, hardy perennial in many places and a fantastic addition to any garden. When planted in the ground, rosemary usually requires little attention and can be used on meats, fish, veggies, you name it.
So, take a sprig, rake off the needles with your hand, and given them a little chop if you like. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. Sprinkle the rosemary over the potatoes and then mix everything all together. I like using my hands. Messy, yes, but fun.
I like to let the potatoes sit for about 20 minutes. You don’t have to. But, you know, I think you should.
Get a cookie sheet that has a little bit of a lip (so the oil doesn’t run off). I line mine with aluminum foil. Cover that cookie sheet with oil as well. Too much oil? I think not. But that’s me.
Lay the potatoes out in a single layer on the cookie sheet. Spread them out, and give them a little elbow room.
Sprinkle again with salt and hit them with some black pepper, as well.
Bake for about 25 minutes. Take them out and stick a fork in them to test doneness. They may very well need another 15 minutes or so. Before putting them back in the oven, pop the taters off the foil and flip them over to better distribute the browning deliciousness. Trust me: Use your hands.
At this point, keep an eye on them and test them about every ten minutes or so. Final cooking time will depend on your oven, how big your chunks are, and your personal crunch-to-cream ratio preference.
When done, let them sit for 10 minutes unless you’re impatient like me.
Salt! Pepper! Serve! Enjoy!
"We Gather Together" Makes KidLit TV List
So happy to be included intros informative and important list of books that share the true stories of our Thanksgiving history.
Check out the other wonderful titles on their site as well.
https://www.kidlit.tv/2023/11/childrens-books-depicting-thanksgiving-accurately/
Here’s the skinny on autographed, personalized books for the holidays
It’s that time of year again…
… and even though this year has been extremely different from those past, it is still possible to get personalized books shipped wherever you want, wrapped up and ready to go.
I am, as always, working with my beloved independent bookstore in Asheville, NC, Malaprop’s, to offer personalized, autographed copies of my books. Signed, personalized books make great gifts and autographing eReaders simply hasn’t taken off yet.
If you want an autographed book you can call Malaprop’s directly at 1-800-441-9829 or 828-254-6734. The store is chock full of helpful, cheerful folks. Once one of these charmers answers the phone, just tell them which book(s) you want to order, the author’s name—that's me—and how you would like the inscription to read.
FOR TIMELY DELIVERY: ORDER SOONER RATHER THAN LATER.
What about those inscriptions?
How do you want the book personalized? To you? To the in-law you’re always trying to suck up to? Do you want it to say “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Holidays,” “For a history buff,” or nothing at all so that you may re-gift at will? Will I inscribe anything that you desire? Oh no, my dears, I absolutely will not. Outright offensive or just weirdly personal inscription requests will be completely ignored. So there. Once you’ve decided on your (sane, courteous) inscription request, Malaprop’s can handle it. Simply give them your payment information and shipping address.
What about gift wrapping?
Yes indeed, they gift wrap! I told you they were wonderful. So, you can have that autographed book gift-wrapped AND have a gift card slapped on it. That package of holiday reading cheer will be shipped wherever you want and will arrive ready to be shoved under a tree, stuck in a (larger than usual) stocking, placed next to the menorah, or donated to your local library.
My books are available wherever books are sold, and if you would like to patronize an independent bookstore closer to your neck of the woods while shopping from the convenience of your own home, pay a visit to bookshop.org. Links to all vendors can be found on my “Buy” page.
Happy Happy Merry Merry Joy Joy!
Here’s the skinny on autographed, personalized books for the holidays
It’s that time of year again…
… and even though this year has been extremely different from those past, it is still possible to get personalized books shipped wherever you want, wrapped up and ready to go.
I am, as always, working with my beloved independent bookstore in Asheville, NC, Malaprop’s, to offer personalized, autographed copies of my books. Signed, personalized books make great gifts and autographing eReaders simply hasn’t taken off yet.
If you want an autographed book you can call Malaprop’s directly at 1-800-441-9829 or 828-254-6734. The store is chock full of helpful, cheerful folks. Once one of these charmers answers the phone, just tell them which book(s) you want to order, the author’s name—that's me—and how you would like the inscription to read. FOR TIMELY DELIVERY: Order by December 14th. You may also order at the link below.
Sooner is better depending on your needs. Might it arrive sooner than you think? Possibly. But this year has been nothing if not unpredictable and chaotic, and who needs the added seasonal stress?
What about those inscriptions?
How do you want the book personalized? To you? To the in-law you’re always trying to suck up to? Do you want it to say “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Holidays,” “For a history buff,” or nothing at all so that you may re-gift at will? Will I inscribe anything that you desire? Oh no, my dears, I absolutely will not. Outright offensive or just weirdly personal inscription requests will be completely ignored. So there. Once you’ve decided on your (sane, courteous) inscription request, Malaprop’s can handle it. Simply give them your payment information and shipping address.
What about gift wrapping?
Yes indeed, they gift wrap! I told you they were wonderful. So, you can have that autographed book gift-wrapped AND have a gift card slapped on it. That package of holiday reading cheer will be shipped wherever you want and will arrive ready to be shoved under a tree, stuck in a (larger than usual) stocking, placed next to the menorah, or donated to your local library.
My books are available wherever books are sold, and if you would like to patronize an independent bookstore closer to your neck of the woods while shopping from the convenience of your own home, pay a visit to bookshop.org. Links to all vendors can be found on my “Buy” page.
Happy Happy Merry Merry!
My Anyone-Can-Do-This Bone Broth
Bones and herbs, ready to go.
I have often shared that I like to roast a chicken—usually obtained from the folks at Fiddler’s Green Farm in Western North Carolina. After I’m a few chickens in, I’m ready to make some broth, which I can then use for any number of soups, sauces, or just sipping. The days may be getting longer, but February is definitely broth month for me. Here’s a pretty basic, I-made-a-few-tweaks way to do it.
You’ll need:
3 lbs. bones—chicken, beef, pork or a combo. (I keep mine in the freezer until I’m ready to go.)
1 head garlic (Yes. A head. At least. Love your immune system!)
1 TBSP. apple cider vinegar
1 large carrot (the kind that would hurt a Hobbit if he rolled down a hill and fell on it).
1/2 yellow onion
4 fresh bay leaves
1 tsp. peppercorns
2 tsp. sea salt
3 big sprigs fresh rosemary and several smallish sprigs each of fresh thyme and parsley. I get these out of my garden. Store bought is fine. If rosemary isn’t your jam, leave it out.
Put everything in a pressure cooker. I use an Instant Pot.( I know, I know. You’re sick of hearing everyone talk about their Instant Pot. I was too…then I got one and now I’m THAT person. Guilty as charged. Let’s move on.) Fill with enough water to cover. Let it sit at room temperature for about 45 minutes. Then cook on low pressure for 3 hours.
Let the steam release naturally, then strain and transfer to the container of your preference and put in the fridge. It should have a nice, jelly-like consistency once it’s cool.
Heat it, sip it, mix it up with some rice and beans. Warm those innards!
My Kinda Easy Sunday Chili Verde
Winter is for soups, stews, and chilis at my house. As a writer—and especially one on deadline—food prep on the weekend makes my work week much easier. Roast a chicken. Make bone broth. Make a big chili. Prep salad fixin’s for my lunches. And one of my favorite make-ahead meals—that also takes advantage of some awesome local Asheville producers—is chili verde.
Here’s how I kinda-sorta do it, more or less. (Or as my grandmother used to say as she tossed a few pinches of the nearest spice into the pot on the stove: “What do you mean how much? I don’t know how much. THIS much!!”)
Pork butt, 3-4 lbs.. I use local farmers Hickory Nut Gap out of Fairview, NC.
1 16 oz. jar of salsa verde from Smoking J’s Fiery Foods, another local favorite.
4 cans Hatch diced green chiles, 2 each of mild and hot.
1 head garlic, chopped. (Yes, “head.” I sometimes use even more. Spice it up! It’s good for you!)
1 yellow onion, chopped.
1 cup or so broth. I make my own bone broth, but any chicken broth will do.
Olive oil. Cumin (I use 1 TBSP, then taste.) Oregano (I use at least 2 TBSP, but that’s me.) Salt, pepper…to taste, of course.
Wanna kick things up? Add a half cup sliced jalapeños.
My favorite—easy— way to do this is in a pressure cooker: (But a slow cooker is also fine.)
Salt and pepper the pork.
Cover the bottom of the pressure cooker in oil, and sauté the pork until brown on the outside. You can also brown in a pan if you must. Doing everything in one pot—pressure, slow cooker, whatever—means you keep all the juices and fat. LOTS of fat. Why keep the fat? Fat is tasty. That’s why.
Dump in everything else. No need for ceremony or any particular order.
Pressure cook on low for 3 1/2 hours. Let steam release naturally. OR, slow cook on high for at least six hours.
The meat should come apart very easily with only a fork. If the pork was particularly fatty, you may wish to spoon off some of the fat at this stage OR, refrigerate and scrape it off once it solidifies.
Serve over rice. Garnish with sour cream, cilantro, or whatever else floats your culinary boat. Add sharp cheddar and mix it up for a tasty, warm tortilla chip dip.
Get Autographed Books from Denise for the Holidays
It’s gift-giving-buying season once again. I am, as always, working with my beloved independent bookstore in Asheville, NC, Malaprop’s, to offer personalized, autographed copies of The Last Castle, The Girls of Atomic City, Signing Their Lives Away, and other titles. Signed, personalized books make great gifts and autographing eReaders simply hasn’t taken off yet. Though I work with Malaprop’s all year long, during the holidays I get lots of questions about wrapping and shipping and so forth.
Here’s the skinny on autographed, personalized books for the holidays:
The easiest way to get an autographed book is to call Malaprop’s directly at 1-800-441-9829 or 828-254-6734. The store is chock full of helpful, cheerful folks. Once one of these charmers answers the phone, just tell them which book(s) you want to order, the author’s name—that's me—and how you would like the inscription to read. FOR TIMELY DELIVERY: Order by December 17th. Will it get to you if you order a day or so after that? Very possibly. But who needs the added seasonal stress?
What about those inscriptions?
How do you want the book personalized? To you? To the mother-in-law you’re always trying to suck up to? Do you want it to say “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Holidays,” “For a history buff,” or nothing at all so that you may re-gift at will? Will I inscribe anything that you desire? Oh no, my dears, I absolutely will not. Outright offensive or just weirdly personal inscription requests will be completely ignored. So there. Once you’ve decided on your (sane, courteous) inscription request, Malaprop’s can handle it. Simply give them your payment information and shipping address. That’s it! Malaprop’s will get me in to sign and then ship your book out to you or to the person of your choice, autographed and ready to go.
What about gift wrapping?
Yes indeed, they gift wrap! I told you they were wonderful. So, you can have that autographed book gift-wrapped AND have a gift card slapped on it. That package of holiday reading cheer will be shipped wherever you want and will arrive ready to be shoved under a tree, stuck in a (larger than usual) stocking, placed next to the menorah, or swapped at an office party.
Can I order online?
Technically, yes, but calling is much more efficient and, in the long run, will take up much less of your time.
Which books of yours can I order?
Almost any of them, really, as long as they are in stock. A full-ish list is available here.
Can I get signed copies of your books anywhere else?
Yes. There are many wonderful indie bookstores—especially around the south—that often carry signed copies of my books. Check with the one nearest you first. If they don't have it, and the store has several copies on hand, they can contact me and I can mail out signed bookplates. Not exactly the same, but still a nice touch.
Happy shopping, and thanks for supporting a local independent bookstore!
Nook sale! "Signing Their Lives Away" ebook is just $2.99!
Our publisher just let us know that the bestselling book Signing Their Lives Away: The Fame and Misfortune of the Men Who Signed the Declaration of Independence —written with my husband and sometimes co-author Joseph D’Agnese—is on sale. The special Nook ebook price is $2.99, so if you’ve been meaning to check it out, now is the time.
The deal is supposed to run through Memorial Day weekend, and end late on 5/27. If you are traveling or have plans for the holiday weekend, don’t take a chance. Carpe that freaking diem.
Quick reminder: Signing Their Lives Away tells the often quirky stories of the 56 men who signed the Declaration of Independence. We think it pairs nicely with summer, frosty brews, a slab of ribs, a beach umbrella, and a red-white-and-blue muumuu. Get your patriot on.
Meanwhile—if you need another reminder: The Girls of Atomic City is still on sale for $3.99 through the end of June 2. Yay.
"The Girls of Atomic City" Ebook Deal for the Month of May!
Things that will cost you $3.99:
Subway’s “Sub of the Day” special
8.4 fl oz of Desert Snow Body Mist from Victoria’s Secret
A slightly used Fisher Price Mickey Mouse Hot Rod or…
The Girls of Atomic City ebook on Kindle!
So, depending on what you’re in the mood for, I thought I’d just share. Please feel free to do the same with anyone you think might be interested in sandwiches, Disney, smelling nice or a fascinating true story about some awesome ladies.
—Cheers!
Denise
“The Last Castle” Just $4.99–This Sunday Only!
Happy to share that The Last Castle is a Kindle Goldbox Deal this coming Sunday, Feb. 10.
For that day only, the ebook will be on sale at Amazon for more than half off its usual price.
Just follow this link on Sunday, and dive into a world of Gilded Age glamour and intrigue.
How to Get Signed and Personalized Books From Me for the Holidays
It’s gift-giving-buying season once again. I am, as always, working with my fantabulous independent bookstore Malaprop’s to offer personalized, autographed copies of The Last Castle, The Girls of Atomic City, and other titles. Signed, personalized books make great gifts and autographing eReaders simply hasn’t taken off yet. Though I work with Malaprop’s all year long, during the holidays I get lots of questions about wrapping and shipping and so forth.
Here’s the skinny on signed, personalized books for the holidays:
The easiest way to get an autographed book is to call Malaprop’s directly at 1-800-441-9829 or 828-254-6734. The store is chock full of helpful, cheerful folks. Once one of these charmers answers the phone, just tell them which book(s) you want to order, the author’s name—that's me—and how you would like the inscription to read.
how about inscriptions?
How you want the book personalized? To you? To the mother-in-law you’re always trying to suck up to? Do you want it to say “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Holidays,” “For a history buff,” or nothing at all so that you may re-gift at will? They can handle it all. Simply give them your payment information and shipping address. That’s it! Malaprop’s will get me in to sign and will ship your book out to you or to the person of your choice, autographed and ready to go.
What about gift wrapping?
Yes indeed, they gift wrap. I told you they were wonderful. So, you can have that autographed book gift-wrapped AND have a gift card slapped on it. That package of holiday reading cheer will be shipped wherever you want and will arrive ready to be shoved under a tree, stuck in a (larger than usual) stocking, placed next to the menorah, or swapped at an office party.
Can I order online?
Technically, yes, but calling is much more efficient and, in the long run, will take up much less of your time.
Which books of yours can I order?
Almost any of them, really, as long as they are in stock. A full-ish list is available here.
Can I get signed copies of your books anywhere else?
Yes. There are many wonderful indie bookstores—especially around the south—that often carry signed copies of my books. Check with the one nearest you first. If they don't have it, and the store has several copies on hand, they can contact me and I can mail out signed bookplates. Not exactly the same, but still a nice touch.
Happy shopping, and thanks for supporting a local independent bookstore!
#AskMeAnything on #Facebook LIVE: 9/8/2017 at 1PM EST
Log on to Facebook.com/DeniseKiernanAuthor or Facebook.com/simonandschuster on Friday, Sept. 8 at 1PM EST for a LIVE Q&A with me about my new book, The Last Castle.
Hello, Instagrammers
Not to be confused with "instagrammars."
Inaugural post is up: https://instagram.com/p/BBu-BUluknK/
You can follow me here: Instagram.com/iamdenisekiernan
